There are lots of epic love stories out there. Some between two people. Some between a person and a particular article of clothing (#TruckerLover4Lyfe). And some between all three. Because finding that perfect item—one that looks, fits and feels just right—is too good to keep to yourself. And who better to share with than the person you love most? That’s the philosophy of Jihaari Terry and Essence Harden, a husband and wife creative team with an affinity for matching outfits. Co-owning clothes is a common relationship rite of passage, but Jihaari and Essence sometimes take it a step further: by investing in the same versatile starting-point pieces—matching shirts, hoodies, jackets, even jeans—then personalizing their individual looks. This keeps end results out of Halloween couples costume territory, and firmly planted in we-both-just-happen-to-have-really-good-taste common ground. So before you say matching outfits for couples are cheesy, embarrassing, whatever— consider: maybe you just haven’t found the right outfits yet. To help with that, we called up Jihaari and Essence (and their Baby O!) to talk about the love—and clothes—they share. Just in time for Valentine's Day, here’s their advice for meeting your match (since that’s step one), then mastering matchy-matchy in a cool-never-cringe way. Get ready to catch feelings. Essence: I’ll give it a whirl. Jihaari worked at this small coffee shop in Oakland by a garden I used to read in. When I’d come in for coffee, Jihaari and another guy there would start making really weird noises to each other. It turns out Jihaari was feeling me and trying to signal that. I was studying Black masculinity at UC Berkeley at the time. I told Jihaari that and he was like, “Oh, that’s what I am!” Haha. We started talking about Black cultural productions and literature and James Baldwin. Eventually, we became friends and that friendship blossomed into bike rides and eating donuts and sitting in my little old car by Lake Merritt just shooting the sh*t. Jihaari: My advice: A friend of a friend is better than a cold ask. There was another girl I knew who Essence was friends with, so when I realized they knew each other, that was my in. When that girl walked by the shop with Essence once, I was like, “Hey, hey!” I had someone to be like, “This guy is okay.” Essence: With Covid it’s obviously hard, but friendship for us was key. We really do share everything. There are no holds barred in conversations. At times it's difficult, but ultimately it creates a more honest space to have a functioning, regenerative relationship. Jihaari: Take time getting to know each other. Become friends first. Over time, we're going to love that we're able to talk with each other to keep our relationship going. So, we built it from the beginning on that. Essence: I like things that are deeply comfortable, but still have a cool silhouette. Unisex is a word to describe it sometimes. I like natural fibers, natural dye, using true indigo—and things that feel one-of-a-kind. At this point, it’s gotta be multi-functional in the way that I don't go anywhere fancy anymore, but I still want to look cute. Jihaari: When I end up with original stuff—pattern-and fit-wise—that’s higher quality, that makes me happier about buying clothes. I also skateboard, so I try to support small, up-and-coming skateboard companies. Jihaari: We do wear each other’s clothes. And, like, if we're getting a shirt with a pattern on it, we'll just get one large long sleeve and share it. Essence: Yeah, a fair amount gets shared—pants, shorts, jackets. Jihaari: Sometimes color palette-wise, we end up matching without trying to. It’s so funny now, because with COVID, we get dressed to basically take Baby O for a walk or to the park—that’s it. So, we’re wearing a lot of the same stuff because our styles have gotten simpler. Essence: But I look forward to having a calm, complicated style once again. Essence: Taking a long sleeve t-shirt, for example, I would likely wear it with a pair of jeans, my hair up, and earrings for sure. My earrings here were from Rachel Comey, and I wore a pair of shoes that Jihaari and I designed with Everybody World. The only jeans I own are Levi's®; they’re the only jeans I’ve found that actually fit my body. With these Stay Loose Cottonized Hemp Jeans, I wore a shirt that my friend Meg Fransee made, which is this beautiful yellow top with a hand drawn pattern. I love it. Jihaari: If I’m wearing a long sleeve, I probably would wear it with baggier pants and my scuffed-up skate shoes. Since the baby, I feel like all my stuff is way looser—easy to throw on and take off. And I always have a hat on—always, always. I don't go outside without a beanie or something with a bill. Here, my beanie has a little ying and yang enamel pin on it. Jihaari: Essence has been getting her really cool Japanese outfits. They don’t so much match; we just want to see O in really cool stuff. Essence: I think there's a big difference between me dressing her and Jihaari dressing her. Haha. Jihaari just, like, throws clothes on her. I style her hair and make sure it’s a cute-ass outfit. We have friends who make clothes, so I try to get them to make little baby things. Essence: I actually think it’s pretty fly. Especially for older Black couples, it's very common. If you go to New Orleans or another chocolate city, so many people dazzle out together and I think it's super cute. I feel like there’s a long tradition of personalizing your style, together with your partner. That's really fun—and you save some money buying the same thing you can both wear! Jihaari: When we were in Ghana, we got a couple of patterns and then made our own silhouettes. She made dresses and I made shirts and pants. I think it can be super fun going along with something your partner wants to try. It's not like you can't just go home and take the outfit off if you’re not feeling it. But when you’re out, you guys are shining as a couple and that’s really cool.
LET’S START WITH YOUR LOVE STORY. ANY MATCH-MEETING ADVICE FOR OTHERS?
AND HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT FINDING YOUR “PERFECT MATCH” IN TERMS OF CLOTHING?
DO Y’ALL FIND YOURSELVES MATCHING A LOT? EITHER ON PURPOSE OR ON ACCIDENT?
GREAT SEGUE! HOW DO YOU TAKE A PIECE YOU SHARE, THEN PERSONALIZE IT TO REFLECT YOUR OWN SIGNATURE STYLES?
DOES BABY O EVER GET IN ON THE MATCHING FUN?
LAST QUESTION: ANY RESPONSE TO HATERS WHO SAY MATCHING COUPLE OUTFITS ARE CHEESY?
