77 Funny Christian Quotes and Sayings, Inspiring for Captions That Contain Humor (2024)

trstdly - There are many ways to get motivated in life. For Christians, including by reading the Bible. In the Bible there are many words of God that can give you the spirit to live life and motivate yourself when you are down.

Another thing that can be read and amusing is reading funny Christian quotes. Even these funny Christian quotes and sayings can be a way to unwind.

Full of hilarious sentences from funny Christian quotes and sayings that will make you laugh. Even so, not a few spiritual content and religious sentences will also touch your heart.

So besides being amusing, these funny Christian quotes seem to remind you to return to worship God and Jesus. Reading funny Christian quotes will definitely add to its own motivation.

Living a life full of uncertainty can sometimes make you feel disorganized. Through these funny Christian quotes, maybe it can raise you from adversity, especially for Christians.

Check out some inspiring funny Christian quotes and sayings, suitable for the following captions for Instagram, as compiled from various sources, Thursday (1/9/2022).

1. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. — Billy Sunday

2. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. — Emo Philips

3. "Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it." - Pope John Paul II

4. "We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to learn that it is God shaking them." - Charles West

5. "I've come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out." — John Fugelsang

6. "Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different." — C. S. Lewis

7. "The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going." — Reinhard Bonnke

8. "To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone." — Reba McEntire

9. "With soap, baptism is a good thing." - Robert Ingersoll

10. "My dear child, you must believe in God despite what the clergy tell you." - Benjamin Jowett

11. "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me... they're cramming for their final exam." George Carlin

12. "You do well to believe in God. Satan also believes...and trembles." James 2:19

13. "It's a funny thing, when you talk to God, you're religious, but when he talks to you, you're a psychopath." — Peter Steele

14. "Nothing happens by accident. God is preparing you for great things." — Sayings

15. "Twas Easter-Sunday. The full-blossomed trees Filled all the air with fragrance and with joy." — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

16. "Knowing the bible is one thing. Knowing the author is another."

17. "If faith is not the way, it is the strength that makes us go?"

18. "If the Bible were written by humans, it would be incomplete."

19. "My hope is in God; I don’t pray, I talk to him."

20. "He gave us a brain; we should use it."

21. "God alone cannot change our destiny, we have to act accordingly."

22. "If you choose to go to hell, you’re going to burn for eternity."

23. "Being a Christian means that you know and believe that Jesus Christ, God’s son, the eternal one, was born of a virgin."

24. "Just as life is sweet on a stick, so is my candy on a stick."

25. "I am not a believer; I just believe in God."

26. "I don’t want to get hurt, I’m a pacifist; I won’t fight; I don’t care."

27. "If you are born again, you will get saved."

28. "Be lights to the world. A city on a hill that cannot be hidden."

29. "I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life."

30. "If God can work through me, he can work through anyone."

31. "I’m not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable." — Anthony Jeselnik

32. "Christ has not only spoken to us by his life but has also spoken for us by his death." — Soren Kierkegaard

33. "The only church that illuminates is a burning church." — Buenaventura Durruti

34. "Never miss a good chance to shut up." — Will Rogers

35. "Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." — George Carlin

36. "The most heinous and the most cruel crimes of which history has record have been committed under the cover of religion or equally noble motives." — Mahatma Gandhi

37. "The church is like manure. Pile it up, and it stinks up the neighborhood. Spread it out, and it enriches the world." — Luis Palau

38. "The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer." — Albert Einstein

39. "Qualifications of a pastor: the mind of a scholar, the heart of a child, and the hide of a rhinoceros." — Stuart Briscoe

40. "Religious wars are basically people killing each other over who has the better imaginary friend." — Napoleon Bonaparte

41. "Don't let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone." — Taylor Caldwell

42. "Christmas is the day that holds all time together." — Alexander Smith

43. "Well pleaseth me the sweet time of Easter. That maketh the leaf and the flower come out." — Bertran de Born

44. "For I remember it is Easter morn, And life and love and peace are all new born." — Alice Freeman Palmer

45. "To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin." — Robert Bellarmine

46. "Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts." - Proverbs 31:6.

47. "Your teeth are whiter than sheep freshly washed; they match perfectly, not one is missing." - Song Of Solomon 4:2.

48. "Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." - Proverbs 11:22.

49. "He turned around, looked at them, and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys." - 2 Kings 2:24.

50. "I will accept no bull from your house." - Psalm 50:9.

51. "As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly." - Proverbs 26:11.

52. "My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war." - Jeremiah 4:19.

53. "The lookout reported, 'He has reached them, but he isn't coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi- for he drives furiously.'" - Kings 9:20.

54. "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." - Corinthians 10:31.

55. "... please, leave these men alone, for they are my guests and are under my protection." - Genesis 19:8.

56. "Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on." - Acts 20:9.

57. "He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him." - Proverbs 27:14.

58. "Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me." - Job 38:3.

59. "Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse." - Proverbs 21:9.

60. "The rich can be sued for everything they have, but the poor are free of such threats." - Proverbs 13:8.

61. "Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun." — Alan Watts

62. "But from this earth, this grave, this dust, My God shall raise me up, I trust." — Walter Raleigh

63. "To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect." — Oren Arnold

64. "Earth's saddest day and gladdest day were just three days apart!" — Sarah Chauncey Woolsey

65. "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." — Groucho Marx

66. "No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God." — George H. W. Bush

67. "That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf." — Bill Bailey

68. "I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces." — Mark Twain

69. "Great little One! whose all-embracing birth Lifts Earth to Heaven, stoops Heaven to Earth." — Richard Crashaw

70. "An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support." — John Buchan

71. "From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere." — Dr. Seuss

72. "Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile." — Kurt Vonnegut

73. "If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic. — Woody Allen

74. "Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning." — Andy Borowitz

75. "Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight and wine at your table could be a form of religious experience for some people. To me its a form of sacrament." — Sally Quinn

76. "The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

77. "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." — Will Rogers

Those are some funny Christian quotes and sayings that will make you laugh. But it contains religious elements so that it touches your heart to return to worship God.